Im in an extended treatment psych hospital, need some input, advice, just something, some hope :/?

Okay, where to begin. In late January I was admitted under an involentary treatment order to an acute adolsecent psychiactric ward, spent 5 months there (due to the fact i kept absconding and attempting suicide and to harm myself, thus why i was there so long) then after 5 months ones i was stable enough, which was about 10 days ago, they transferred me to an adolescent extended treatment psychiactric hospital, you have more freedom here, like you can have a mobile as long as it doesnt have a camera and you have internet access, i have ran away twice from here already, once on my 2nd day, in which a nurse ran after me and caught me, and then a couple days later i ran away to the train station and layed on the train tracks, the police came and got me off and brought me back, then i was on a special for a couple of days, and i share a room with 3 other girls, one of them gave me a razor blade so on Monday I self harmed, I also saved up my pills (I take 12 pills a day so in about 5 days I had about 50) and took them all at once, then attempted to strangle myself with the PS2 controller cord, apparently my face was turning blue and the doctor said had the nurses been 30 seconds later i would have been dead, i was kept in a seclusion gwn for 2 days and am now still on a special, have to be watched sleeping, showeirng and going to the bathroom, so on constant 24/7 supervision. Im having a difficult time adapting to this place, i mean it's not a terrible place, theres adventure therapy, outings, shopping, and school, so its set up for long term inpatient treatment, but part of me wants to die so badly and the thing is i am extremely impulsive, i do things, then i deeply regret doing them, and swear to myself i'll never do them again, and so sure at the time too, but i do them again. I'm worried I may runaway to the trainstation again, i think i will, i have no motivation to live, no motivation for life itself. im pretty much institutionalised, im here against my will because of the stupid involentary treatment order mental health act 2000. not even a lawyer can get me out of here, its like an old time mental insitution from the movie Girl, Interrupted. I just need some input, how do I cope with this, with being here, with my suicidal thoughts. Ive been on 60mg of prozac for two years, I was on resperidone but they took me off that because my prolactin levels were too high, so now im on seroquel, and i was on lorazapem, then they changed it to valium, and i was also on promethazine and melatonin, then when i came here they took me off it. So now I'm on valium, seroquel, prozac, ritalin and lithium. none of it really helps really. i feel like im insane. i just feel like ive completely lost my sanity, and i feel totally disconnected from the real world.